…coz I am JUST a friend.

“Pag lumingon ka, akin ka!” I remember this line from the movie “In the name of Love” starring Aga Muhlach and Angel Locsin unfortunately when I use this line for that someone special, I saw them happy walking without turning back away from me. 😦

There are times that no matter how hard you try to placed yourself in front of that someone special when he/she is in love with someone else and you are just contented watching them happy, seeing them as if they own the whole world, seeing them happy…will you still push yourself just to have that someone you love? will you just keep the pain inside of you or will you fight the uncontrollable feeling in your heart?

It’s hard to say that you want to fight for that love if that someone special showed you that he/she is happy with someone else and he/she can’t be happy with you. You just keep yourself, hiding the real pain inside your heart. Is this love? But why it keeps on hurting me? Hearing their laughter that is slowly killing me, and I choose to leave instead, no matter how I tried to be okay.

How can you let go of that someone special when you know that he/she gives life to you? Somehow the reason why you live!? Is it this easy to forget when you know that he/she’s been part once of your life?

Sometimes I went to quiet places just to pour out that heavy things inside my heart, crying out so loud, drowning myself with my tears but when everything seems to cool down, still I realized that I am still alone. Letting go of what you felt is the hardest thing when it ended before it begun. I can never be that someone special coz simply…am just a friend.

In Love…again!?

It’s been a while since the last post I have in here and it’s almost three years since the last time I talk about my love life. It’s quiet interesting that there are lot us who can relate to my story, actually it’s just an ordinary love story but it’s my real story falling in love with a friend but sad to say I fall in love for the person whom can never be mine.

For the past three years, I have moved on and I can even laugh to myself for what I did for that someone I love most. Our love story ends up…I mean my love story because it’s my one great love, it’s mine not ours. I even forgot myself for the sake of that someone but sad to say it ends up that am still single but HAPPY. Talking about happiness, yes I am happy with my life right now and I guess I am fallen again to a friend! Oops! I knew it, you are raising your eye brow right now while reading my post. Yes, you read it right. I might in love again to a friend. I am wondering why there’s such a feeling like this and why to a friend again!!?? As much as I don’t want to fall in love but I can’t help myself. This would be another problem with me and am sure about it, it’s gonna be a dramatic moment with me.

 

For three years I keep telling myself “You should not fall in love” “You should not fall in love” “you should not fall in love!” but there are times that my mind is telling me that I am right. I should try to fall in love again. Yes, this is it but am not yet ready to fall in love again. I don’t think this person is the right one because of some reasons; committed, just a friend (as what my heart says), super in love with other person (absolutely not me) but I can’t rid this person out of my mind and I just don’t want to experience the pain again. Why I am afraid of love?