Archive for March, 2011

I am just an ordinary person with a huge dreams in my heart, carefree and happy-go-lucky. All I wanted is to laugh, to smile every single day. I can’t live a day without laughter. All I wanted is to make other people happy. I don’t want to be sad. That’s me!

Lately in my life, I have received a lot of blessings, blessing accompanied by a big responsibility. I am very grateful that God have showered me this blessings. About the responsibility, I know I can make it. I can handle it. I can achieved what I want for this responsibility. I can say…I am very happy, I have asked it from our Father in Heaven and He answered. Lot of people that surrounds me expect too much from me but sad to say I can’t meet their expectations. I failed them. I know it’s a big challenge for me when people will look at me and will judge me that I can’t make it but I guess that’s really life…full of challenges. I have my own limitations.

As much as I wanted to keep that hurt feelings for myself, I can’t help it but to cry inside. I pretend to be strong, I pretend to be someone else but when I am alone I know the fact that I am weak, I can’t deny it for myself. I am sometimes fooling other people, pretending that everything is okay, everything is fine but I am just human, I cry and I am not okay.

Sometimes I am asking God if He is giving all these things just to hurt me? I know God loves me and He don’t want me to be hurt but I was hurt. Everything happens for a reason…He want me to grow…growing is embracing change…change sometimes hurts…hurt is pain. Growing is not easy when people are trying to stop the momentum. When people are pulling you back instead of pushing you. Maybe I am just afraid that nobody will be there for me. There are people whom I consider brothers and sisters but they are the people who hurts me, they are the poeple who left me behind.

I love to laugh, I love to smile, I love to make people happy but there are people who hurt me…all I know “Everything Happens for a Reason”.