Archive for the ‘Memorable Events’ Category

Most of us may tinatawag tayong “BFF” or simply best friend or best friends and most of us nakakarelate tayo dun sa minsan humanga tayo or na in love tayo sa best friend natin. Just like any ordinary guy at saka normal na tao minsan na rin akong humanga at humantong sa pagka inlove sa sariling kong best friend. When I saw this video sabi ko ang corny naman nito ginawan ng animation yung song pero nung malapit na mag end yung song I realized na nakasmile na pala ako simply because the animation tells about my story, my own story and my best friend.

Nakilala ko yung best friend na yun nung pumasok siya sa office namin as programmer slash web designer slash naging tutor ko sa photoshop. Ang daming job description niya, kasi siya yung tipo ng tao na ayaw paawat sa trabaho. Ilang months palang at medyo napalagay na ang loob ko sa kanya, am sure medyo corny para sa ibang tao yung ilang buwan pa lang pero you are claiming na best friends na kayo but I think naging totoong tao kapag kasama ko siya. Siguro nga we’re destined to become friends. Walang araw na di kami magkasama during lunch and even during dinner. Pagkalabas ng office naghahanap pa kami ng makainan, nakikipag inuman. Most of the time McDo na lang kami tapos tig iisang quarter pounder at large na pineapple juice yung tinitira namin. Siguro kulang na lang yung words na kami na. Very supportive siya sa akin, even during may board exam andun siya para sa akin, sinamahan niya ako hanggang matapos yung exam. Siguro nga andun yung kilig factor, yung kilig much na tinatawag nila.

There was a time na nagkasakit siya at since wala naman siyang ibang kamag anak, ako yung tumayong caregiver niya. Masaya ako kasi nga kahit sa maliit na bagay na nagawa ko, I know na masaya rin siya sa pinaggagawa ko. Pero alam mo yung tipong may konting pagnanasa ka sa kanya habang inaalagaan mo siya!? Alam ko mali yun, best friend ko yun eh kaso lang minsan di napipigilan ang damdamin. Patuloy pa rin ang buhay hanggang sa may bago kaming empleyado na kakapasok lang sa office namin…yun na yung simula ng paghihinagpis ko!

Naging close sila ng ga bagong empleyado, dun na siya sumasama sa kanila, minsan di na kami sabay kumain, minsan na lang siya nagtetext, nawala na yung friendly date every sunday, yung lumalabas kami every sunday para magsimba, tapos manood ng sine tapos kain lang sa labas, yung time na kami lang. Ngayon may kahati na ako sa oras niya…di naman siya totally nawala sa akin pero yun lang may bawas na yung oras ng pag sasama namin. Ang hirap ng ganun sitwasyon kasi nakikita ko na masaya siya na kasama niya yung bago naming empleyado…sino ba naman ako para pagbawalan siya eh kaibigan lang ako!? Haaays buhay nga naman…masakit pero kailangan ko tanggapin na magkaibigan lang kami at dun ko naitanong sa sarili ko kung sino ba siya para sa akin at ano ang papel niya sa buhay ko and I realized that I am falling with my best friend, to a best friend na di nag iisip ng kakaiba para sa akin. Oo na nasaktan na ako…umiiyak…naging OA ako…umiinom ng sobra kahit di naman ako umiinom…nag yoyosi kahit di marunong…super feeler ang peg. Ganun nga siguro nakakabaliw pag na inlove ka sad to say dun pa sa taong tinuring mo na best friend na mas masaya pag kasama niya yung iba, I mean yung kasamahan namin sa office!

One day, paglabas namin sa office tinawag niya ako…sabi niya “Uy kain naman tayo…namimiss na kita ah, ang tagal mo na di nagpaparamdam ah, galit ka ba!?” Ang sarap sampalin ng pagmumukha niya…until now di pa rin pala niya nararamdaman na mahal ko siya, na sobra ko siyang namiss, na halos araw araw akong naghihintay sa kanya. I can’t explain dun sa nararamdaman ko that time…in short waley talaga. Ako naman itong martyr lang ang peg hala ayun sinamahan ko siya, kumain kami sa labas, nagkwentuhan at nag uusap tungkol sa mga palno niya sa buhay. At dun sinabi niya na aalis na daw siya, pupunta siya ng abroad para sundan yung tunay niyang minamahal dahil nasaktan daw siya ng sobra dun sa kasamahan namin sa office! Gumuho ang mundo ko kasi umiiyak ako sa taong umiiyak sa ibang tao…fair ba yun!? Nasaktan daw siya ng sobra kaya aalis na lang siya. Kung alam niya lang na sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko, feeling ko di na gumagalaw yung puso ko…di ko na nararamdaman yung mga kamay ta paa ko, feeling ko naghihiwalay na ang buo kong katawan. Ganun pala ang feeling nuh!? Bat ba kasi sumama pa ako sa kanya tapos yun lang ang maririnig ko. Well…alam ko naman na di siya maging masaya kung naging kami or maging kami kasi iba yung nasa puso niya, di ko naman kakayanin na masaya ako pero kinukulong ko ang puso niya sa pagka selfish ko.

Umalis siya ng bansa, that was May 15 pero tumawag siya sa akin nung nasa airport pa lang siya at dun ko di na napigilan yung emosyon ko sinabi ko sa kanya yung buong nararamdaman ko, bumuhos yung luha at hinagpi sa mga mata ko pero huli na ang lahat kailangan na rin niyang umalis para sa sarili niya, sa pamilya niya at sa minamahal niya. Di ako nagsisi na minahal ko siya, di man niya ako minahal tulad ng ineexpect ko atleast nararamdaman ko na minsan may best friend na pwede ko masandalan sa oras ng pangangailangan.

I’m always been dreaming to experience magical romance…a feeling of being in fairy tale. A feeling of being in love.  I forget actually how does it feels like being in love coz it’s been a while since the last time I feel this way. I feel like being rejected by people whom I want to be with for so long. This time I feel like I am a knight in shinning armor, ready to rescue the one I loved. What I am afraid of is, I don’t know until when this someone feels this way towards me. All I have right now is my faith that this would last forever.

Every time I wake up in the morning, I can feel that I have the reason to smile, I have the reason to live my life, I have the reason to be in love. Being with this someone special will always make my day. Excited to stare in the eyes, excited to share laughter, excited to sit beside this someone special and most of all excited to feel the love everyday of my life.

The very first time, the moment I hug this special someone and allowing me to do is something I always wish to happen in my life. I can feel my blood rushing in my veins. I can feel my heart beating so fast. I can feel that I am blushing and I don’t want to let go despite of the uncomfortable position. I want to stay and I don’t want to end that moment.

All I wanted is to have someone who can love me, someone whom I can consider a best friend, someone whom I can count on in times of trouble, someone who is willing to listen and that someone who will trust me.  I will never regret to have this person in my life. Teaching me how to love again is the best gift I ever have next to love that I have with my God.

I love this person more than I think I can love myself right now and I’m always hoping this would last forever.

giving_love

It’s been a while since the last time I have updated my page…broken-hearted, rejection and so many hopeless things that happen with my life. One thing that I have learned is that “I am human”…I am hurt, I can feel the pain and I have to moved on. I learned to let go of people and somehow it eases the pain inside of me.

Creating a brand new me is so difficult, it’s so hard to begin new steps in my life. Someone came in my life that helps me recover from the past. Someone who teaches me that life isn’t about material things but sharing those material things for the one you love. Crazy but it’s true…loving someone requires so many things but I have learned important ways on how to show it. To give and give. Don’t count the efforts.

Meeting people in a very unexpected time is what I hate the most coz it won’t permit me to be ready with the consequences but recent things that happen in my life, I love how my fate throw some surprises to me. Meeting someone who have trusted me despite of a very short period of time is something that I should be proud of.

Knowing this person requires me to change my priorities, I have to manage my time well, I have to be as simple as what I should be and giving the gift of love is my goal for this someone who came into my life during my most difficult time. Someone who teaches me how to love myself and leave something for myself. I am so grateful to know that this person who came in life who is willing to listen and willing to care.

I am just hoping that someday, the one who came in my life will be a lifetime commitment.

Why it’s so hard to see the one you love crying because she /he was left behind!? It’s more painful watching him / her crying because he / she was hurt by the one he / she loves. Personally am just wishing that I could be that someone who will be there for that someone I loved the most during the time I saw the tears that are in the eyes of that someone I love. Just like any other guy who have experienced this strange feelings and no matter how I try to let go but the feeling remains. Painful to admit but I tried to let go of what I really felt but sad to say that the roots of this strange feelings keep on holding deep down inside my heart.

I know it’s wrong to wish something bad for them, it’s wrong to wish to have that someone you love to be with you instead of being with him. No matter how I tried to understand but my mind keeps on refusing to understand…my heart keeps on telling me that I was hurt…my soul keeps on desiring that special someone I loved to be with me…but no matter how I tried…I am just simply an ordinary man, I am nothing special, all I have is this strange feelings they called LOVE.

How wish that I could be that someone who will be there for that someone special those days when tears are falling. How I wish to be that someone who will care when nobody cares. How I wish to be that someone who will extend a hand when it’s badly needed. How I wish that I could be that someone who will wipe the tears. I just want to show how much I care…I just want give love more than I think I could give…but I am simply an ordinary friend for that someone I love…I am simply that someone…nothing special and can never be with that someone I really loved. If only I could be that someone who could give the love that you been searching for…

Do you think it’s law of nature that when you love someone that someone loves someone else? I’m sure most of us can relate things like this. Just like an ordinary person, I fallen for someone who love someone else. I keep on saying that I really have to say goodbye and to focus for myself, love myself more than the love I gave to that someone special. I don’t have to say much but this song is telling of what I really felt inside.

It’s hard to say what you really felt inside to someone if that someone only expect you to be a good friend. It’s quiet sometime that I know this someone, expecting me to be a good friend, expecting me to be there during the troublesome but how I wish to have this someone to love me and to care for me.

I keep on fighting what I really felt coz I don’t want to ruin the friendship and I am afraid lossing this someone I love. Keeping what I really felt makes me weak, it losses my direction in life, it makes me forget who really I am. I been a fool. I keep reaching the hand of this someone I love but everytime I open up arms for this someone I love, I just realized that I was left behind.

It’s hurting me…I can feel the pain but I have no reason why should I act and why should I feel this way coz I am just a FRIEND and nothing else.

I wish those arms will hug me. How I wish those eyes will tell that it cares. How I wish those hands will hold and will never let me go. How I wish I am a part of those sleepless nights, dreaming of forever but I am just a friend.

I been a fighter for my whole life. I been fighting just to have what I want but is it worth fighting if that someone you love tells you that giving up life is easy just to have that forever with another guy!?

All I desire in my whole life is to have that someone who will LOVE me, who will care for me and willing to give up life just for me but I how wish to be the only man in your life that you will keep forever.

I don’t know where to start my post today. I just love to write something but I don’t know anything. Strange but this is how I feel, I don’t know where to start. Well, I guess, I have to talk about friendship, love, true love and losing someone you love. I have just watched the movie “One Day”. It’s a light-hearted story. Less drama and some kind of a boring story for those who are not in love and for those who haven’t fall in love but for me it’s something that I am longing for so long. How I wish, I was with the one I love for this movie. 😦

The story is about friendship, trying to deny what they really felt and it takes about 20 years to complete their love story unfortunately it ends with a tragedy. Losing the one that you been longing for about 20 years. That’s how the story runs. I don’t want to elaborate further the story coz I want you to experience the movie by yourself.

The movie title struck me. “ONE DAY” We can never tell how long we live our lives, right? We can never tell what’s gonna be tomorrow for us. I am just wondering if the one I love will shed some tears for me when I’m gone??? I think…no! Sad to say but that’s true coz I have seen the one I loved crying and those tears are not for me but for someone else. I am just hoping that there will be ONE DAY in my life where I can tell what’s really inside my heart and how I am afraid losing that someone I loved the most. Maybe I am just stupid enough of dreaming for that someone not realizing that I am just living in my fantasy, it’s not real, it’s just an illusion and how I wish to wake up very soon. I always keep telling myself that I am alone but I am not lonely, unfortunately, I was. I am lonely and I am always longing for love. I am always longing for someone whom the last face I want see before closing my eyes and the first when I woke up each morning. I am always longing for some arms to embrace me during some coldy nights. I am always longing for someone to hold my hands when I’m about to give up and someone who will be there pushing me when I am about to fall.

I can’t fight loneliness. I can’t push people to like me and I can’t command for that someone I loved to love me in return. Just like the story in “One Day”, longing for someone you love for too long, so many circumstances and obstacle comes along the way but the day you finally found the one you love…you will gone in your own love story. How I wish that if someday that would happen to me, I’ll be gone in my own love story, someone will stand and be the witness of my love. I know there will be ONE DAY in my life…and that one day will determine and will shape my own love story before everything will end for me.