Archive for July, 2008

It’s Over now

Posted: July 31, 2008 in Personal

Everytime I am looking at the sunset I can feel some pain deep within me. Why is it so hard for me to forget to all the things that happen to me in the past? It’s been a question I have always in my mind for almost a couple of months. I know I have the right to be happy, I know I can move on, I know somebody is waiting me after the darkness of dawn. But where do I have to start searching for myself? When can I feel the torn that is taken away from my heart?

People come and go in our lives, sometimes we will be lossing some friends and some will come. We laugh and at the end of the day we cry. We start to rise and all of a sudden we fall. We learn to love and then we were hurt. Why life is so cruel? I know, somehow it makes me a better person, it makes me strong to all the trials that I am facing in my life. Let’s just say it’s a part of our lives, spices of our lives. And I believed that sooner or later I will find rainbow over my life.

I’ve realized that life is indeed a full of contradictions. Sometimes it’s crazy to be sane, you need to fall to fly, people suffer because you care. You have to unlearn to know the lesson, you have to give up because you are strong, you have to be wrong to make things right. Nonetheless, life’s complexities are also life’s source of beauty. We should cry to laugh again, we have to  fall apart to be whole again and get hurt to love again.

Life is so beautiful, we have to live life to the fullest. We will past this life once and the hardest thing to do is making the best of every second of it. Let’s not just wait for another days to past by, look ahead the future, look ahead for a better life, since yesterday is just a past and…it’s over now!

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When it’s time to say goodbye…

Posted: July 30, 2008 in Personal
Tags: , , , ,

A lot of my friends are asking me “Why are you so happy all the time?” since most of the time they did not see me crying but I was, I am just human, I cry. Well…maybe they did not see me crying in front of them because I know how to hide my true feelings, I was once a member of our theater arts guild in school way back high school days.

Crying is one way of showing your emotions, showing what you really felt deep inside, showing that you’re pain. Sometimes we cry because of too much happiness, tears in our eyes are coming without even knowing it, and you feel like that your heart is squeezed until nothing tears will fall. And you feel numb as if you can’t step your feet forward, and you feel like shouting. And that’s crying! But what if you are crying deep inside and you’re afraid to show your emotions?

I don’t know…if it’s a curse for someone like me, everytime I fall in love, I am always hurt and I don’t know why. I’m always keep saying to myself that I should not fall in love again, but human as we are, I can’t resist the dictate of my heart. I been in love for so many times and I fail also for so many times. Though, there are few whom I experienced care but it’s not love and it doesn’t last for long. Sometimes I am just telling myself that the Lord is so busy as of this time creating for the better partner I could have in my life.

…the most painful is the last one that I have.

I am blessed to know this person in my life. Sharing the laughters and tears. We been sharing the best time I could have in my life. Everytime I fall, I am pretty sure that somebody will catch me, everytime I am in the darkness I am sure that somebody’s hand will held me back into light. This somebody shows the care that I’m longing for so long. Hand in hand we are facing the ups and downs of our lives, for about a year that I am leaning on its shoulder and never heard a complain. At the end of everything leaving me is the most painful thing. Painful because I am expecting too much, It’s hard for me to let go because I don’t want to, It hurts because I can’t accept the fact that we’re just friends. The way that I was cared is something special for me, but it was just an ordinary and simple deeds for this somebody, a brotherly care.

I know prioritizing the one you love, especially a family, is not a question, well…who am I to say no for this somebody who thinks that life is dedicated to a family? I’ve realized that I am just fooling myself, making some imagination, doing some impossible dreams and hurting myself upon waking up from a very deep sleep.

I’m trying myself to hold on to the feelings that I have, trying to change my destiny, trying to be with this somebody but straightly this somebody is telling me…”you’re such a good friend, thank you but I have to go”.

This is already posted in my other blogsite and I just want to repost this one at my very own wordpress site. Actually I have already my badges and my confirmation from the organizer and I just want to spread the good news to everybody out there!
WordCamp Philippines

I am browsing for something new in my blog list and so happen that I open a page which I think will help me a lot, It will help me improve my skills and ability in writing, It will help me develop myself for a better me. This is the WORDCAMP PHILIPPINES 2008.This is the first time here in the philippines to have this kind of camp, actually first time in Southeast Asia. A group of WordPress enthusiasts, developers, advocates and users embarking on this project to bring WordCamp to the Philippines for the first time. They will bring new informations, techniques, skills, and they will help develop amateur bloggers like me in reaching the top of excellence.

I am working in an IT company, but not all were thought nor I have experienced the best thing in computer world. I am less than to my co-employees, since most of them graduated in a computer related courses, and I am supposed to be in the classroom teaching my students to become a better citizens of the world. But still I have this hunger in computer education, I want to experience something beyond just sitting in front of my computer, beyond just simply writing, and beyond just an amateur blogger. I know and i believed this is something that will change life into better.

WordCamp Philippines

Wordcamp Philippines 2008 is sponsored by the following:

For more informations on Wordcamp Philippines 2008 please click here. And for Mindanao bloggers you can click here. See you in September!

I am a little bit excited because I have my new blog site from wordpress.com. And same with my other blog site I choose to have this “Sa Pakiwari ko…” since I will be telling you about my fantasies, my dreams in life, my failures and triumphs, my wishes in life, my journey and many other things which primarily talks about my opinion.

I have a simple life and a simple dreams, and writing anything is presently makes me happy, it’s my outlet in life, and I can find some comfort with writing. Actually, before when I was young (actually, I’m still young, young at heart) I really hate my teacher when she told me to write something with my journal notebook. I don’t know, but I really don’t like to write, as I grow up I’ve realized that my teacher is right, there is a joy in writing, especially writing about what you felt, your emotion, and the things deep within you. And now, it’s a hobby of mine to write anything and everything under the sun. Sometimes, if I have nothing to write I reach to the point that I am already writing a movie script.

The header symbolizes the wide and calm sunrise, a new sunrise that comes in my life, a new morning in my journey in life. The color orange symbolizes the wisdom, wisdom that I gained from all the mistakes that I have encountered during my journey in life. The water, represents the people that inspires me, the events, the memories in my life, of which always ends in the wide sea. It guides me to the wider point of view of my life and that will be the ocean, which can be found at the end of the river. And the darkness, it always reminds me that after a midnight, another dawn is coming, and a new sunrise will shine upon. The trees that surrounds the river, symbolizes my family and friends who were always there for me, giving me life, they are the one who gave me shades when trouble comes. And the sun, symbolizes our Father in heaven that keeps on watching us, giving hope and new inspiration everyday of our lives.

Please bare with me as I start my journey…