Loneliness and Me

Posted: August 27, 2008 in Personal

I was away for almost a month, I just want to leave the place that cause pain deep inside of me. I been crying somewhere that no one will see me. Sometimes life don’t bother to keep on our side. I been saying to myself before that life is a just a game that we should learn how to handle, we should learn how to play, but what if you will fail to the game you are playing? It’s not that easy to face the truth, because I am afraid to know that I fail in my life.

I been living in my dreams, and I know that a dream is just a dream, it’s just a fantasy that soon you will wake up and you will face that life ended, living in a dream ends, it is not forever. I was hurt because I used to live in my dream in such a way that I love it, I was used to it, but now reality comes and I have nothing but my old self, crying alone, I was left behind and that really hurts.

During the time that I was alone, I have realized that I should not stop my life from where I am right now. That I have to find my own happiness, I know it’s hard to find happiness if you know that you can’t find any, I have to fool myself, I have to insist that life is beautiful though I’m feeling it’s not, only if I have the one who help me to put back the puzzled pieces of myself, only if I can lean to the shoulder of somebody who catches me when I fall, maybe I can say that there are more reasons to live. But the one that I am longing is so near yet so far, I can’t reach the hand, I can’t feel the embrace and I can’t feel the love anymore.

As I am reminiscing those days, those happy days with the one who brought some laughters on my face, I can’t stop the tears in my eyes. Why is it so hard to accept the truth that the chapter of our lives that we shared together has come to an end? Why is it that life seems so unfair? I am always asking myself, if I have to love somebody do I have to return it with tears? Who among you can tell me that you were not hurt because you love somebody else? Who among you can tell me that loving someone else won’t hurt? I know, we love, we sacrifice, we cry and we love again. But why I can’t love again? Why do pains keep on haunting me?

I remember somebody who told me that because I love too much that’s why…I was meant to be alone.

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Comments
  1. Jix says:

    Loneliness is created by illusion of being alone. In a world of 6 billion how can one be lonely unless one decides so. Even with no one around the world around you has so much to tell you that one find it hard to be lonely. Look around for friends and those objects which can keep you occupied.

  2. arjhay1726 says:

    Hi. Thank you! I really appreciate your words, sorry for the late reply coz I been so busy searching for myself and I’m glad now that I come back I found a lot of nice words from people who takes some time in reading my blog. Thank you!

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