When it’s time to say goodbye…

Posted: July 30, 2008 in Personal
Tags: , , , ,

A lot of my friends are asking me “Why are you so happy all the time?” since most of the time they did not see me crying but I was, I am just human, I cry. Well…maybe they did not see me crying in front of them because I know how to hide my true feelings, I was once a member of our theater arts guild in school way back high school days.

Crying is one way of showing your emotions, showing what you really felt deep inside, showing that you’re pain. Sometimes we cry because of too much happiness, tears in our eyes are coming without even knowing it, and you feel like that your heart is squeezed until nothing tears will fall. And you feel numb as if you can’t step your feet forward, and you feel like shouting. And that’s crying! But what if you are crying deep inside and you’re afraid to show your emotions?

I don’t know…if it’s a curse for someone like me, everytime I fall in love, I am always hurt and I don’t know why. I’m always keep saying to myself that I should not fall in love again, but human as we are, I can’t resist the dictate of my heart. I been in love for so many times and I fail also for so many times. Though, there are few whom I experienced care but it’s not love and it doesn’t last for long. Sometimes I am just telling myself that the Lord is so busy as of this time creating for the better partner I could have in my life.

…the most painful is the last one that I have.

I am blessed to know this person in my life. Sharing the laughters and tears. We been sharing the best time I could have in my life. Everytime I fall, I am pretty sure that somebody will catch me, everytime I am in the darkness I am sure that somebody’s hand will held me back into light. This somebody shows the care that I’m longing for so long. Hand in hand we are facing the ups and downs of our lives, for about a year that I am leaning on its shoulder and never heard a complain. At the end of everything leaving me is the most painful thing. Painful because I am expecting too much, It’s hard for me to let go because I don’t want to, It hurts because I can’t accept the fact that we’re just friends. The way that I was cared is something special for me, but it was just an ordinary and simple deeds for this somebody, a brotherly care.

I know prioritizing the one you love, especially a family, is not a question, well…who am I to say no for this somebody who thinks that life is dedicated to a family? I’ve realized that I am just fooling myself, making some imagination, doing some impossible dreams and hurting myself upon waking up from a very deep sleep.

I’m trying myself to hold on to the feelings that I have, trying to change my destiny, trying to be with this somebody but straightly this somebody is telling me…”you’re such a good friend, thank you but I have to go”.

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Comments
  1. Téa :) says:

    I can relate to you.
    This was meaningful 🙂

    -http://teaaa.wordpress.com/

    • arjhay1726 says:

      Hi Thank you for taking some time reading in my blog. I’m so happy that someone out there can relate to what I am writing in here. Thanks!

  2. rhuine_06 says:

    well done…its full of emtion maybe you really love that person’ letting go is really a hard decision but according to the songs it is also one of the best way to say how much we care and love for a particular person..we setting them free to let them find their happiness, and that happiness also brings the same feeling to us. And its true that God gave us a lot of trials and sufferings to make us a strong individual who has a good faith to him. And prepare us to see and experience the place that he promises to those people who beleive in him..kua lots just keep up the good track my future..ka!hehehe 😀

  3. rhuine_06 says:

    the only thing that make us happy in life….is to love and be loved.

  4. Mary Lourd says:

    the only thing that make us happy in life…is to love and be loved.

  5. catherine says:

    That was a part of life, when you love, you hurt…and its really a matter of give and take. im proud of you that you accept and face the reality that guy is not meant for you. “love till it hurts” that is the meaning of true love!

  6. sheili says:

    Maybe some people just aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through. It’s like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn, and that’s why they’re here… you’ll have that gift forever.

  7. […] A lot of my friends are asking me "Why are you so happy all the time?" since most of the time they did not see me crying but I was, I am just human, I cry. Well…maybe they did not see me crying in front of them because I know how to hide my true feelings, I was once a member of our theater arts guild in school way back high school days. Crying is one way of showing your emotions, showing what you really felt deep inside, showing that you're pai … Read More […]

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